Nowadays (Stage 1 Guilt)

I’m walking a little slower nowadays.
And the sore in my mouth refuses to heal.
But those are just little things.

Little like
The constant fogginess in my head,
The metallic taste in my mouth,
The strands of hair that keep falling on my shoulder.

It’s a little till it’s a lot.
Till it’s maddening.

But I shouldn’t complain
About the blood that stains
The tissue I hold to my nose.

For some, that stain
Echoes the dark shadow
That keeps showing up in their
Ultrasound, MRI, mammogram…

No, I won’t complain about the little things.
Though nowadays,
I confess that for a time
they overwhelmed me.

Daily reminders that
The cancer was real.
The chemo was real.
And that’s no little thing.

 

© Sarah Porwoll 2018

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